Point of Order! Gaara Learns How to Play Mao
by TentenNTemari
Summary: Oneshot. During a day off training, Lee and his team teach Gaara how to play Mao, a card game in which the primary rule is that he's not allowed to know what the rules are! What's worse, penalties are given for mistakes. Gaara and Lee are FRIENDS!


**A/N: Hello, everyone! This story is inspired by a real game that I (Temari) like to play with my family and friends. I'm not exactly sure how well-known the game of Mao is, but I'm sure some readers will already know how to play, and will thus already understand the rules. I realize that there are different versions of the game with slight variations on certain rules, but in this story I am just using the version that I play.**

**The story might be especially funny if you already know how to play Mao, but I tried to write it so that even if you've never heard of it before, it'll be funny and will make sense eventually.**

**Well, I hope you all have as much fun reading it as I had writing it!**

**Please Note: In this story, Gaara has already turned good and he and Rock Lee are FRIENDS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Mao**

* * *

Gaara stared at his feet as he shuffled along one of the dirt streets of Konoha. He didn't really feel like going anywhere, but Temari had advised him that a walk on such a beautiful sunny day was just what he needed. 

"Come on, Gaara," she had said, smiling from over the top of the book she was reading. "You should definitely go outside on a day like this. And besides, we don't have to train today. Take advantage of the free time."

_Well, it couldn't hurt_, Gaara had told himself, and since he was bored out of his gourd anyway, (pardon the expression), he agreed to take his sister's advice.

As he left the street where he and his siblings were currently staying, the redheaded ninja almost turned the corner to walk by Ichiraku Ramen, but at the last instant decided against it. The reason? Naruto was bound to be there. Not that Gaara had anything against his hyperactive friend, but on a day like today, when he was already in a foul mood, something told him that being around Naruto would just end up giving him a migraine.

Lost in these not-so-pleasant thoughts, Gaara wasn't really paying much attention to where he was going. Suddenly a stack of training weights seemed to spring up out of nowhere. He didn't see them until it was too late. Gaara's brain snapped back to reality just as his foot caught on the weights and he plunged headfirst over the stack and into the dirt.

Luckily, his sand broke his fall… somewhat. But it didn't save him the embarrassment of doing a face plant right in the middle of the alleyway. Gaara stood up hastily and brushed himself off, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. He sighed in relief when he realized that the street was empty.

However, Gaara did notice something else. He was standing right in front of Rock Lee's house. _Well_, Gaara thought, _that explains the weights_._ It's nice to know I didn't just trip over some random pile of training equipment in the middle of the Leaf Village_.

Gaara looked at the weights and sighed. _I guess I should return these to Lee. Besides, I wouldn't want anyone else to trip on them. Well…except maybe Sasuke._

Gaara guiltily shook that thought out of his head and bent down to pick up the metal plates. They were heavier than he expected. With some difficulty, he managed to lift them up and hold them against his chest without falling over. But there were so many that he was having trouble seeing over them. _For goodness sake, I should just use my sand!_ He thought.

An image of his green-clad friend flashing his signature shiny grin suddenly materialized in Gaara's mind.

_No._ He tightened his grip on the weights and began walking towards the front door of the house. _If Lee can do it, so can I._

It took several minutes for Gaara to adjust the weight of his burden so that he could knock on the door. But after he did so, it wasn't long before he heard the familiar sound of feet pounding toward him from within the house. The sliding door was suddenly wrenched aside, and Rock Lee's flushed, beaming face appeared.

"I believe these are yours," Gaara said matter-of-factly.

Lee's large, round eyes peered curiously around the stack of weights. "Who is that?" He stood on his toes. "I am afraid that I cannot see your face."

Gaara exhaled sharply. He didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold these weights. "Who else would it be, Lee? It's me!"

Rock Lee frowned and tapped his chin. Suddenly his face brightened. "Gaara? Is that you? Here, let me take those."

Gaara's fingers practically sang for joy as Lee easily lifted the darn weights out of his arms and set them on the floor.

"What a nice surprise!" Lee smiled, "Please, come in!"

As he stepped into the house, Gaara glanced at the weights on the floor and then back up to his best friend. "You know, Lee, you really shouldn't leave those things in the middle of the street. Someone could… you know, trip or something."

"That is considerate of you, Gaara. But do not worry," Lee laughed. "I think that the only person oblivious enough to trip over my training weights would be Naruto."

"Uh, yeah…"Gaara decided that it was time to change the subject. "So… what have you been doing this morning?"

"Well, you see, I wanted to train, but Gai Sensei insisted that we all needed to rest today." He grinned. "So he had us exercise our minds instead!"

"Great…" What in the world did that mean? With Gai, one could only guess.

"To expand our mental capabilities, Gai Sensei taught us this really cool new card game!" Lee continued. "It is actually very fun. Hey! We were just about to start a new round. You should come and play with us. I can teach you!"

"Um, okay…"

"Yes! Come on."

As soon as Gaara set down his gourd by the front door, Lee practically dragged him into the other room. Gai Sensei sat at the wooden table next to the window, along with Lee's teammates, Neji and Tenten. A deck of cards rested in the middle of the table, and as Gaara and Rock Lee approached, Tenten picked it up and began shuffling it deftly.

"Hey everyone!" Lee grinned at his team. "Gaara is going to play with us, too. Please deal him in, Tenten."

"Sure," Tenten smiled. Neji just stared at Gaara with an unreadable expression in his pale white eyes. Gai Sensei flashed a grin even shinier than Lee's and gave Gaara a thumbs-up.

"Welcome, Gaara! You arrived just in time. I was teaching my team a delightful little card game that requires you to make observations, gather information, and learn quickly."

Lee pulled up a chair for Gaara and sat down next to him. "The game is called Mao."

"Mao?" Gaara had never heard of it.

"That is right. It goes like this. We each get seven cards, and you can play either a card of the same suit or the same number."

Nodding, Gaara reached out to pick up the cards Tenten had just dealt him. _Crack!_ From out of nowhere, Lee's hand slammed down on Gaara's cards, barely missing his nose.

"What in the world was that for?!"

"Ah-ah-ah! It is against the rules to look at your cards before the game starts."

"Oh. Sorry." He quickly pulled his hands away from the table.

"Now then," Lee continued. "Your goal is to get rid of all of the cards in your hand. The first person to play their last card and declare 'Mao' is the winner."

"Alright. Well, it sounds simple enough…"

"Not necessarily." Tenten shook her head. "That's not all."

"In this game there is no talking," Neji said coolly. "That is, unless a Point of Order is called."

_I can handle not talking_, Gaara thought.

"Oh, and one more thing…" Lee grinned mischievously. "Those are the only rules we can tell you. The rest you do not know."

"What?" Gaara stared at his friend in disbelief. "How am I supposed to play if I don't even know the rules?"

"Trial and error!" Gai announced. "Well, mostly error. You see, as you play the game, you must closely observe the other players and watch what they do. As you make mistakes, you will learn what _not_ to do, and gradually you will be able to deduce the rules for yourself." He winked. "Cool, huh?"

"For each mistake you make," Lee held up his index finger as he spoke, "you will receive a penalty card. I should warn you: as this is your first time playing Mao, you will probably accumulate many penalty cards."

_Wonderful. This has got to be the weirdest game I've ever heard of._

"Ready to begin?" Lee asked, placing his hands on top of the deck.

The others nodded, and Gaara followed suit.

"Great! Okay," Lee turned over the card and placed it next to the draw pile. It was a three of spades. "This game will begin with Gai Sensei and will go towards Tenten. There are no new rules and no rules have been deleted. This game of Mao is now in session. Three of Spades."

Lee sat back in his seat and picked up his cards. Gai, Tenten and Neji did the same. Moving carefully so as not to earn some sort of penalty, Gaara scooped up his cards and held them up in front of his face. _I don't know if the hand I have is even any good_, he realized.

He looked up in time to see Gai Sensei place a four of spades onto the discard pile.

"Four of Spades!" he declared proudly.

Tenten examined her hand in search of the right card to play.

Returning his attention back to his own hand, Gaara began arranging his cards according to suit. _Okay,_ he thought, _so even though there is no talking, apparently we have to name the suit and the number of the card we play… or something like that._

As he lowered his hand to watch the next play, Gaara noticed something strange. Everyone was staring at him. _That's funny_, he thought, _I don't remember Lee playing anything yet. But I guess it's my turn already._

Gaara selected a card from his hand and quickly threw it onto the discard pile before he got himself into trouble for taking too long. "Eight of Diamonds," he added.

Gai shook his head slightly.

_Uh oh._

The corner of Lee's mouth twitched slightly as he reached for a card. He looked at Gaara as he slid it over to him. "Talking."

Hesitantly, Gaara took the card. What had he done wrong? "Hang on," he started. "I thought –"

Lee handed him another card and smiled sheepishly. "Talking."

_Oh, right. Oops._ Gaara nodded and started to take a closer look at his hand again when he noticed that Lee and his teammates were exchanging amused looks. Tenten stifled a giggle behind her hand.

_Now what?_

Lee was reaching for another card.

_That can't be good. What did I do now?_

"Failure to say 'thank you'" Lee said.

Gaara's eyes widened. "What? You can't be serious! I have to thank you for giving me a penalty card? That's – " _Oh, darn. No talking!_ Gaara clapped his hands over his mouth, but it was too late.

Another card came sliding his way. Lee just smiled and shrugged. "Talking."

Gaara gritted his teeth and grabbed the card, stuffing it into his hand. "Thank you," he added under his breath.

Lee glanced at his hand briefly and placed an eight of hearts onto the discard pile.

_Hang on._ Gaara glanced quickly at his friend and then back to the pile of cards. _It was just my turn, and Lee already played before that. Why is he playing again? Shouldn't it be Neji's turn now?_

Lee yawned and leaned back in his chair as he stretched his arms. No one was giving him a penalty, Gaara noticed. Tenten wasn't even playing, even though she sat on Lee's other side. _This is too strange_, Gaara thought.

A few more seconds ticked by, and Gaara was beginning to feel a bit nervous. Almost lazily, Neji leaned forward and grabbed a card. With a sigh, he flicked it at Gaara.

So this time Neji was giving out the penalty.

"Failure to play," Neji said in a rather annoyed tone.

Gaara didn't argue this time. He obeyed as fast as possible to avoid making any more mistakes. Searching desperately through his hand, he noticed with dismay that he did not have any hearts. Oh, wait. But he _did_ have an eight of clubs.

As he dropped the eight onto the discard pile, Gaara noticed that Neji was slowly reaching for the draw pile. _No! Wait! What was I supposed to say again?_ Gaara's mind raced. _Oh yeah – _

"Thank you!" he cried.

Neji's hand stopped in midair and reluctantly withdrew to rest on the tabletop.

_Whew! That was close!_ Gaara turned to smile at Lee. _I think I'm finally starting to catch on._

But Lee was not sharing Gaara's excitement. Instead, he was staring at his friend expectantly, his bushy brows raised.

Gaara blinked. _Is it my turn again? How is that possible?_ Suddenly, realization dawned on him. Gaara's gaze darted back to the playing pile. An _eight_. That was it! Only eights had been played for the last few turns, and the task of playing a card was being passed back and forth between him and Lee. That was why no one else was playing. Eights must be reverses. _Aha,_ Gaara's eyes narrowed. _I've gotcha now, Lee_.

Gaara whipped out an ace of clubs and slapped it down onto the pile. Lee blinked, his shoulders drooping a little.

Grinning, Tenten pulled out one of her cards and laid it onto the table. _Huh? _Gaara thought. _I was almost certain it was Lee's turn. Hmm… maybe aces are skips…_

"Hail to the Chairman," Tenten said.

_What in the world?_ Tenten had played a king of clubs. _That was random. She didn't even get a talking card._

It was now Gai Sensei's turn. Without warning, he suddenly slammed his cards facedown onto the table. "Point of Order!" he yelled.

Gaara jumped.

"Finally, it is my turn!" Gai continued. "The way you two kept passing those eights," he pointed at Gaara and Lee, "I thought my time to shine would never get here!"

Lee looked stricken. "I am sorry Sensei! Please forgive me!"

Tenten rolled her eyes. Gaara was beyond confused. What was going on?

Gai Sensei grinned and winked at his star pupil. "I was just kidding with you, Lee. I'm very proud of how you all are playing. Not easy, is it Gaara?"

"Uh…no, sir."

"Right! But I have a feeling things are going to get very interesting pretty soon. Well, I suppose we ought to carry on, now…"

"Hold on," Neji frowned and shoved a card at his Sensei. "That was a Pointless Point of Order if I've ever seen one."

Gai turned to Neji. "I'm afraid you still have a lot to learn about the art of playing Mao, Neji."

This was obviously not what Neji wanted to hear.

"That was not, as you mistakenly labeled, a Pointless Point of Order. I was merely congratulating you all on your progress so far and encouraging the power of youth in your learning!" Gai's smile twinkled. "And besides, I cannot remain silent for more than fifteen minutes without calling a Point of Order! It is just the way I am. I can't have you all giving me hundreds of talking cards, now can I?"

"Of course not, Sensei," Lee agreed.

Neji groaned.

"However," Gai closed his eyes and held up his index finger thoughtfully. "Since you have brought up an interesting point, Neji, and since I admire your observant attitude, I will take your penalty card graciously."

Gai Sensei slid the card over on top of his other cards. "Thank you."

Suddenly, his eyes flew open and his head turned to look at Gaara. "But I am sorry to inform you that you have stumbled upon yet another error, young Gaara!"

"What?"

Gai hurled a card at Gaara from across the table. "Looking at cards during a Point of Order!"

_Oh, great._ Gaara looked around at Lee's team and noticed that they all had placed their cards face down on the table. He was the only one who was still holding his cards in front of him. _How could I have missed that?_ Gaara thought, quickly putting his cards down.

"Thank you," he muttered.

"You are very welcome!" Gai said, and then nodded. "Well, then, End Point of Order."

Gai, Neji, Tenten and Lee picked up their cards. Gaara did the same. _Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Neji. That was rather pointless. I can barely remember whose turn it is!_

"Hail to the Chairman, king of spades," Gai flung his card onto the pile.

"Jack of Spades. Diamonds," Neji said quietly.

Gaara looked at Neji questioningly, but Neji was busying himself with his cards. _Okay, fine. He's ignoring me. What else did I expect? Well, since he said 'diamonds' I guess that means I have to play diamonds now. Jacks must change the suit or something._

But one look at his hand made Gaara's heart sink. He no longer had any diamonds. What was he supposed to do if he couldn't play?

Gaara thought hard, thinking back to the few times he had played card games with Temari and Kankuro. What did a person usually do when they didn't have anything to play? _I think you're supposed to draw, right? Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll draw a card and see what happens._ Gaara reached out tentatively. _Of course, you never can tell with this game…_

Gaara drew a card and closed his eyes tightly, waiting for a penalty to come… But nothing happened. After a few moments, he opened one eye and looked around carefully.

Lee was staring at him with a concerned expression on his face. Apparently, he had already had his turn, because now Tenten was playing. She laid an eight of diamonds onto the stack.

Lee snapped to attention and his expression changed to one of complete concentration. After searching through his cards for a moment, his eyes narrowed, and a tiny grin appeared on his face.

Gaara decided right then that it was not a good grin.

Lee placed a seven of diamonds onto the pile. "Have a nice day," he said casually.

Okay, that was it. Saying that many words most definitely deserved a talking card. _Yes! _Gaara thought in delight. _It's finally my turn to give out a penalty. Back at you, Lee!_

Gaara smiled smugly as he drew a card and slid it across to his friend. "Talking," he said happily.

Lee's grin widened and from across the table Gai chuckled to himself.

The green-clad genin pushed the card back to Gaara. "Bad call," he said.

Then immediately after came another card. _Wham!_ "Failure to draw a card," Lee said.

Gaara stared at the penalty cards blankly. He turned to Lee, his mouth open in shock. _What?! No Way! Why do I have to draw _another_ card? This is completely ridiculous! _

Automatically, he drew a card. Gaara shot an evil glare at Lee and growled dangerously. "Thank… you."

Rock Lee wagged a finger at Gaara. Another card. "Malice," he said in a scolding voice.

Dropping his cards on the table, Gaara felt his hands curling into fists and he scowled. What was that thing that Gai said? The one that allowed you to speak? _Oh, yes…_

"Point of Order," Gaara said darkly.

Everyone put down their cards obediently, although Lee still held his head high in triumph.

"Okay," Gaara said. "I can talk now, correct?"

Gai nodded.

"What in the world is going on here?! First Lee tells me to 'have a nice day', or something odd like that, and when I try to give him a talking card, I get bombarded with penalties!" Gaara spread his hands. "And on top of that, he calls 'malice' on me?"

Gaara crossed his arms and squinted at Lee. "Would you mind explaining that one, sir?"

"When a player shows possibly violent or ill-intentioned behavior, or if his voice reveals dangerous or bad-tempered undertones, the person at which that behavior is directed has the option to call a 'Malice' penalty on that player," Lee explained. "It is in the rules. Perfectly legal."

"Uh-huh…"

"Basically," Tenten clarified, "he gets to penalize you for getting mad at him. I think that rule was invented just to crack down on people with fiery tempers. Don't worry about it; just be sure that next time you don't give him any reason to call malice on you."

Tenten smiled at her teammate. "Isn't that right, Lee?"

He nodded. "Yes. Only good attitudes are permitted in this game!"

"Alright, fair enough," Gaara said. "But that still doesn't explain why I got penalized in the first place."

Neji smoothed his hair with one hand as he spoke. "You see, saying 'have a nice day' is part of the game. Every time someone plays a seven, that is what he or she must tell the person they're playing it on. But in addition, the recipient must draw a card."

"Oh." Gaara wished he had known that earlier.

"There is also one more aspect of this rule," Gai Sensei added. "If the person who received the seven also has a seven, then they can play it and pass the responsibility of drawing on to the next person."

"But they have to say 'have a _very_ nice day'" Lee said.

"So," Gaara asked, "if I had had a seven, I could have played it, said 'have a very nice day', and Neji would have had to draw instead of me?"

"Exactly." Gai smiled. "You are catching on."

"But," Lee cut in, "if Neji had a seven, he could have played it and said, 'have a very, very nice day'. And then if Gai Sensei had a seven, he could have played it on Tenten and said, 'have a very, very, very nice day'. And if –"

"Okay, Lee!" Gaara said quickly. "Thanks, I get the picture. We can all 'have a nice day' if we have a seven."

"Very well, then." Gai said. "Now that _that's_ settled, End Point of Order."

The game continued on, and Gaara was actually doing pretty well for a while. He was managing to avoid getting so many penalty cards and even nailed Neji one time with a 'have a nice day' card!

He also finally figured out that Spades was the only suit in which you had to name the number and suit of the card you played. Another discovery he made was that if you played a king, you automatically had to say, "Hail to the Chairman". Likewise, playing a queen required you to say, "Hail to the Chairwoman". It all seemed rather random to Gaara. (What on earth was a 'chairman', anyway?)

Tension began to build as a few people (namely Lee and Neji) started getting down to their last few cards. Of course, Gaara wasn't anywhere near winning, as he had gained pretty much half the deck in his hand.

But Gaara did notice something strange. Neji was very good at anticipating the moves of other players and at laying down cards to stump the people playing after him.

During one such instance, Gaara decided to keep a closer eye on Neji. When the Hyuuga boy's turn came around next, Gaara watched him closely over the top of his cards.

Neji tilted his head down and brought his cards up in front of his face. _What is he doing?_ Gaara wondered. Then, just before he lowered his cards again, Gaara saw it. What appeared to be tiny veins were bulging around Neji's eyes and across his temples. The older boy's eyebrows were drawn down into a frown, and he looked like he was focusing hard.

Gaara stifled a gasp. _So that's it!_ he thought. _Neji is cheating by using his Byakugan to peek at other peoples' cards. I should tell Lee, but… I can't talk. _

Suddenly, an idea flashed through Gaara's mind, and he smiled. _All right, Neji. If that's the way you want it, then two can play that game._

Gai Sensei had just called another weird Point of Order for some reason or another, and Gaara seized the opportunity. After putting his cards down, he slipped his hands underneath the table and quickly made a series of hand signs. He glanced up at everyone else. _Good, no one is looking at me._

Then, without making a sound, Gaara casually brought his arms up and rested his elbows on the table. He leaned his chin on one hand, and discreetly placed two fingers in front of one eye.

In just a few seconds, he had summoned a very minute amount of sand into his other palm. In no time he transformed the tiny grains into the Third Eye, a unique jutsu he usually reserved for reconnaissance missions. But this was a special occasion.

While Gai explained something to his students (who all looked bored except Lee), Gaara maneuvered the eye under the table and over to where Neji was sitting.

_Now, all I have to do is wait for the game to start up again._

Sure enough, an End Point of Order was soon called, and Gaara picked up his cards with his left hand.

As Neji brought his cards up to look at them, Gaara moved the eye into position directly behind and above the boy's shoulder. _Sorry, Neji, but you asked for it. Now I can see every single card in your hand._

Neji was too busy concentrating on the game to notice the silent eye behind him.

The game went on uneventfully for a time, but as Gaara continued to anticipate Neji's moves and counter them, he could see the older boy's confidence begin to weaken slightly.

Whenever someone reversed the direction of play so that he would play on Neji, Gaara made sure to drop some kind of nasty card on him (preferably sevens or aces). And since Gaara had so many cards in his hand, it wasn't very difficult to find nasty cards to play.

Conversely, whenever the direction of play was switched so that Neji would play on him, Gaara would either block his seven with another seven, or he would observe in advance which card Neji was going to play so that he could prepare the best possible move.

Gaara was pleased to note the increasing amount of penalty cards Neji was obtaining from Lee due to his slipping concentration.

It was currently Tenten's turn. Gaara noted in surprise that she had two cards left. Glancing around at the other players, Tenten smiled slightly and placed one of her cards onto the discard pile. She then sat back at looked expectantly at Gai Sensei.

But Gai didn't play anything. Instead, he slipped a card to Tenten and said sadly, "Failure to say 'last card'".

Tenten moaned and slapped her forehead with her hand in exasperation.

_It would seem that she forgot that rule_, Gaara thought to himself. _I'll have to remember to say 'last card' if I ever get close to winning. But I doubt that will happen anyway…_

However, the game was turning out to be full of surprises. As he continued to observe Neji and evade any more penalties, Gaara was shocked to realize that he was down to his last three cards. So was Lee.

_Uh oh_, Gaara's eyes flickered to his left, where Lee was sitting, _I have to be really careful now._ He quickly disintegrated the Third Eye so that he could concentrate on the immediate threat.

When his next turn came around, Gaara played down an ace, skipping Lee. Although he would much rather have skipped Neji, Gaara didn't want to lose, either.

Now only two cards were left. As Gaara put his next card down, he took extra care not to get penalized.

"Last card," he said slowly.

Rock Lee stared at his hand for a moment, and then smiled at Gaara in satisfaction. He gracefully laid a Jack onto the pile.

"Clubs".

_Oh dear_. Gaara had only one card left in his hand and it was most definitely _not_ a club. It happened to be a king of hearts. _My only chance now is if someone else changes the suit before it gets to me_, Gaara thought. He kept his face completely emotionless and watched as Tenten moved to play.

She played a two of clubs.

Gai Sensei's turn… _Slap!_ A five of clubs was smacked down onto the pile.

It was now Neji's turn. Gaara was staring at him so intently he almost expected to burn a hole through his cards.

After what seemed like a million and one years, Neji slowly plucked a card out from his hand and placed it leisurely onto the stack.

Gaara almost passed out. It was a five of hearts.

Trying very hard to contain his excitement, Gaara raised his card in triumph and set it down onto the pile dramatically.

Very calmly, he looked around at Lee, Tenten, Gai and Neji. "Hail to the Chairman," he said.

A brief moment of silence engulfed the room, and then Gaara threw his head back and raised his arms in victory.

"I'M OUT!"

Gai Sensei and Lee both reached for the draw pile at the same time. Before Gaara could realize what was happening two new cards whizzed through the air and landed in front of him.

"Failure to say 'Mao'!" Gai Sensei roared.

"Talking!" Lee added happily.

Gaara froze. _No, it can't be…_

"AUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" Gaara let out a groan of despair and brought his head down onto the table with a solid _thud_.

He had been so close… _so close_!

"Ahem." Lee cleared his throat politely and tapped Gaara on the head.

"Thank you," Gaara mumbled into the table.

Satisfied, Lee took his turn.

Raising his slightly throbbing head from the table, Gaara watched dismally as the other players took their turns as well. He sighed. _Of all the rules I could have forgotten…_

Soon it was Lee's turn again. His last card left his hand like a bird flying elegantly from its nest. It landed softly onto the pile. Lee sat up a little straighter.

"Hail to the Chairwoman, Queen of Spades, _Mao_," he said.

In one sudden motion Lee stood up, knocking his chair over backwards and scaring Gaara half to death.

"Whoo-hooo!!!" Lee cried, punching the air with both fists and jumping up and down joyfully. "I did it! I actually won! Did you see that, Gai Sensei?"

"I most certainly did, Lee. Good work! I knew you could do it!" Gai gave his student a double thumbs-up.

Gaara, now recovered from his initial shock at Lee's outburst, smiled up at his friend.

"Nice job, Lee," he said.

"Thank you!" Lee replied, and exchanged a high-five with Tenten. Neji watched the spectacle before him in a detached manner. However, a faint smile lifted the corners of his mouth slightly.

"Let us play again!" Lee cried.

Gaara wilted in his chair.

"Alright," said Tenten. "But let's make this our last game for today, okay?"

Lee nodded. "Fine. I just want to use my new rule. I have already thought it up!"

"Hang on," Gaara interrupted. "There's more? Another unknown rule?"

"Correct. The rules say that the winner of each round gets to make up one new rule for the next round," Neji answered. "Or they can delete a rule that another player has already made up. But they cannot do both. Also, no original rules can be changed."

_Oh, boy_, Gaara thought. _Here we go again._

Gai Sensei quickly shuffled the cards and a new game was begun. Lee did the honors, turning over the first card and going through the required protocol.

"This game will begin with Gaara," Lee grinned mischievously at his friend, " and will go toward Neji. A new rule will be added and no rules have been deleted. This game of Mao is now in session."

But Gaara had no time to feel sorry for himself because he did _not_ want to begin this game by receiving a bunch of penalty cards. He checked the card Lee had turned over for the discard pile. It was a two of diamonds.

Gaara tossed a five of diamonds on top of it.

Lee's face lit up and he handed Gaara a card. He was getting very good at that.

The only thought that registered in Gaara's brain was, _Lee, you should be a professional penalty-card-giver_.

The glee could not be disguised in Lee's voice as he said, "Failure to do 200 push ups!"

A collective gasp went around the table. Gaara felt slightly woozy.

"Point of order!" he cried. "_200 push ups?!_ That's impossible! Well…maybe not for you, but still… It's insane."

Lee's jaw was set, and he shook his head stubbornly. "Sorry, but that is the way it goes. I made up the new rule, so now you are required to follow through."

"I'm afraid he's right, kid," Gai Sensei said.

Gaara was stuck and he knew it. He couldn't go against the rules, and he most definitely would not tell everyone that he couldn't possibly do 200 push-ups (and live to tell the tale). So, Gaara decided there was only one thing he could do – improvise.

"Okay…fine. End Point of Order." Gaara stood up slowly and pushed his chair backwards. He could feel everyone watching him as he got down on his hands and knees on the floor. _This is just great._

Gaara got into push up position and took a deep breath. _Here goes…_

Lee counted out loud as Gaara went down and back up again.

"One! Two! Three! Four!…"

As he reached thirty, Gaara began to feel the lactic acid building up in his arm muscles. He grunted and pushed on. His palms were growing slippery with sweat, and his wrists began to shake violently. It was becoming a struggle to hold himself up.

"Forty!" Lee shouted. "Do not give up!"

Gaara's breathing had turned into ragged gasps as his lungs desperately fought for air. His brain tried to convince him that his spinal cord was being turned into an accordion and at the same time his head was floating in space, detached from his body.

"Fifty!"

Using what little oxygen he had left, Gaara halted in mid push-up and managed to wheeze, "Point of Order!"

Lee stopped counting and Gaara collapsed to the floor, desperately taking in as much air as he could possibly hold. After a moment, he raised himself onto one elbow and looked up at Gai's team, still sitting at the table. Sweat dripped off Gaara's forehead and landed on the floor.

"I'm terribly sorry but…" he gasped. "I believe Temari is… expecting me home… for dinner soon!"

Lee looked extremely disappointed. Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I guess it is getting kinda late," Tenten said.

Gaara nodded, thankful that someone agreed. Little by little, he pulled himself to his feet and crumpled into his chair. When he finally caught his breath, he spoke up again.

"Thank you for inviting me to play with you, though. This was very, um…fun." Gaara smiled weakly. "I've never played a game as interesting as this."

Lee nodded. "Thank you for playing with us, Gaara. It is always fun to have someone new to join the game."

Gai Sensei flashed his famous smile once again. "You did well, son. Now you can teach others and spread the wonderful game of Mao!"

"Uh, sure…"

"Come back and play again sometime!"

"Okay." Gaara stood up, trying to regain what dignity he had left. He thanked everyone again and turned to Lee.

"I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Tenten, Gai, and Neji (well, sort of) said goodbye, and Lee walked with Gaara to the front door.

As Gaara slid his gourd onto his back, Lee smiled sheepishly. "Hey, sorry about the push-up rule."

Gaara smiled and let out a half-laugh, half-sigh. "That's alright, Lee. I guess I just have a lot more training to do, that's all."

Lee smiled wryly.

"You just showed me an area I need to work on," Gaara said.

"I suppose you are right!"

Gaara nodded. "Well, see you tomorrow." With that, he waved and stepped out the door.

* * *

In a few minutes, Gaara arrived back at his house. All he wanted to do was sit on the roof and space out for a few hours… 

As he opened the door, Gaara's gaze landed on the kitchen table. _Oh, no. We have company._

Temari was sitting at the table along with Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, and Asuma. Temari turned as Gaara entered the room. She smiled and waved.

"Point of Order," she announced suddenly.

Gaara's eyes widened in horror. _Oh, no…_

"Gaara, you're back! Shikamaru just taught us this really cool new card game. Do you want to play with us?"

"No!" Gaara cried. "I mean, no thanks – I've had a busy day. I think I'll pass tonight. Maybe some other time…"

Temari looked puzzled. "Well, okay. If you're sure."

"Yeah, um… yeah…" Gaara quickly stumbled out of the room and down the hall. Wondering what Kankuro was up to, Gaara swung open the door of his brother's room.

The older Sand Sibling was sitting on the floor with Kiba (and Akamaru, of course), Naruto, and Hinata. Kankuro looked up and grinned. "Hey, Gaara! What's up?"

"Talking!" Naruto yelled, smashing a card down in front of Kankuro. "Ha, ha!"

Kankuro narrowed his eyes at Naruto and picked up the card. "Thank you." What he looked like he _wanted_ to do was rip up the card into a million pieces.

Gaara grabbed his head with both hands. "Oh, no. It's _everywhere_!"

Kankuro stared at him questioningly, but Gaara had no time to explain.

"I have to get out of here!" Quickly, he spun around and sprinted out of the room as fast as he could. He took the stairs up to his room three at a time and slammed the door behind him.

_Whew!_ He sighed in relief and slid to the floor.

About an hour later, when all the guests had finally gone home, Gaara heard footsteps and then a gentle knocking on his door.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"It's me, Gaara," Temari's voice answered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good. You had me a little worried back there." She paused for a moment. "Hey, guess what? Gai Sensei is holding a giant Mao tournament tomorrow outside of Ichiraku Ramen. Almost everyone will be there; it's a fundraiser. Kankuro and I are going. You should come with us."

Gaara was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating.

"Sounds like fun, huh?"

Silence.

"Gaara?"

"…"

"Gaara, are you okay?"

"Temari…" Gaara said quietly. "I think I'm going to stay home tomorrow... I don't feel so well."

* * *

**A/N: Wow, that was fun! I know it was kinda long, but I hope you all enjoyed it. So now you can all teach your friends and spread the wonderful game of Mao! Just kidding. Well, ta ta for now. Please read and review!**


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